If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Life is so much better after having sex.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
