Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
