I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm just crazy horny about you
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
