Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
