The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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