Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
