It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
