i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize