It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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