im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
