My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We have started to decorate penises.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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