im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
