So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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