Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
