fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
