I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
