Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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