so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
