I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
