Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
