Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
