Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
