What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I need water and some morals
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
