And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
