If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
