My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
