I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
