He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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