they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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