...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
