I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
