Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
