The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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