Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
