Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
