Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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