I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
