how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
