Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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