I wanna passion pit in your ass
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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