the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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