his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
