He uses pillows to masturbate.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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