I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize