Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
