I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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