I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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