Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
