Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
