Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
