He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
