gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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