do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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