I heard we made out
he wants to bone in the snuggie
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
