I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
