did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
