I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
