And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
