Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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