we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
So squirting runs in the family.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize