I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We had sex on a dog bed..
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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