He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
