I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
