new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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