WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
