So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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