I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
