what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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