she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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