this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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