Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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