I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
