I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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