I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
