Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize