pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize